I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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