I wish they made helmets for livers.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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