Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
