He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
