what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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