living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
