So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
