So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
