Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
