so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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