ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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