I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
tell me about the eggs
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
