Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
