My brain says no but my pants say off.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
