Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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