I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
