You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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