I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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