Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize