Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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