Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My hand turned me down
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Randomize
