Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
