you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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