she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
