K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
