Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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