I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
