the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
