I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
