I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I will die if light touches me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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