so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
