Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
