Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
