Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize