Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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