I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Randomize