That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
