My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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