You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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