my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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