Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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