I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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