This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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