I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Randomize
