Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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