walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
