I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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