What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
