I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
