Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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