i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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