You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think I sprained my soul last night
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize