my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
