i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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