We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
