Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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