ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize