sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
