and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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