you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize